One of Those Days
by lady bundtcake
Summary: Zoisite keeps obsessing over himself. Kunzite flips out.


One of Those Days  
  
January 7, 2004  
  
Author's Notes: The idea for this came from a chat with my friend ChibiZoi. There is no doubt in either of our minds that there must be some days where Zoisite's antics absolutely drive Kunzite up the wall.  
  
*******  
  
It wasn't quite morning, but it was too late to still be night. For one of the supine bodies resting in the bed of the highest-ranking king, this factor was easily ignored in favor of a few extra minutes of slumber. For the other, waiting for the actual arrival of daytime hours required entirely too much patience.   
  
Zoisite shifted, propping himself up on his elbows and staring at the recumbent, silent form of his lover. He paused for a moment to take in the exquisite handsomeness of the man beside him, but the seconds had scarcely passed before he felt himself growing restless with waiting for Kunzite to wake up. Zoisite decided to speed up the process.  
  
"Kunzite?" he said softly, tucking a silvered lock of hair behind the older man's ear.   
  
The first of kings gave a soft sigh at the gesture, but showed no signs of snapping out of his somnolent state.  
  
"Kunzite?" Zoisite ventured again, a little less soft this time. Kunzite shifted slightly before rolling over, seeming to be unconsciously aware that there was a persistent little man in bed with him who was determined to wake him up.  
  
Zoisite sighed heavily and pouted, his lower lip jutting out in indignation. Of course, he swiftly realized that Kunzite was not going to notice his pouting, as Kunzite was not only asleep but also facing the other direction. Zoisite decided the best course of action would be to first wake Kunzite, and then he could resume the pouting.   
  
"Kunzite!" Zoisite whined, very loudly, before giving Kunzite a hard shove between the shoulder blades. Kunzite grunted, but barely stirred; he was a bit too large for shoves from Zoisite to have much effect.  
  
Finally, in one desperate show of unusual strength, Zoisite grabbed Kunzite by the shoulder and, with no little difficulty, managed to roll him over onto his back. Then he proceeded to climb on top of Kunzite and lean down until the tip of his nose nearly brushed the older man's.  
  
One of Kunzite's gray eyes flickered open and regarded Zoisite coldly. The blonde man smiled, obviously pleased with himself.  
  
"Good morning!" Zoisite cooed, placing a kiss on Kunzite's nose.  
  
Kunzite twitched slightly. He opened his other eye and glared at his lover.  
  
Zoisite was apparently totally oblivious to Kunzite's obvious annoyance, something Kunzite found irritating but incredibly predictable. In fact, Kunzite thought, hardly a moment seemed to go by in any day when Zoisite was thinking of something other than himself. Or his appearance. Or his hair. Or…gods, Kunzite couldn't even keep track. Even now, sprawled on top of his chest, the little man was talking incessantly. Kunzite was so used to the constant chatter that he could more or less tone it out entirely, but that didn't stop him from being extremely bothered by it. He found himself staring blankly at Zoisite, nodding occasionally to feign interest and suppressing, with no little difficulty, the desire to stuff a sock in the little man's gaping maw.  
  
// Let's think about this logically //, Kunzite thought.  
  
"I think my hair is getting longer. Is it longer, Kunzaito-sama? I think it is. What do you think?"  
  
// I could actually try to pay attention to him. //  
  
"I like it long. Do you like it, Kunzaito-sama? You always say you're fond of my hair. Of course, if you don't like it, I can cut some of it. Do you not like it, Kunzaito-sama?"  
  
// NO. Gods, no. This is painful.  
  
I could just continue to ignore him until he finally gets tired of talking and then we can actually get some work done. //  
  
"I was SO tired last night! Weren't you? It was just exhausting, everything is exhausting sometimes, and I hope I'm getting enough sleep because otherwise my skin looks kind of funny. You know? I think it does."  
  
// No, no.  
  
I could…kiss him. That would shut him up. That would REALLY shut him up.  
  
That would actually probably work a little too well.  
  
He would do that squeaking thing with his voice and gasp at me. He would gasp, "Oh, Kunzaito-sama!" and then he would look at me, he would do that… that THING with his eyes, where he looks up through his hair at me, and then he would start making those little… sounds that he makes. And that eye thing.  
  
Oh no, we'd never get anything done if he gives me that face. He knows I can't resist that. He would do the face, the big-eyed face, and…oh…  
  
Oh shit. I hope he doesn't feel that.  
  
Maybe if I just kind of rearrange here and move him a little to the left…yeah, I can just wrap my arm around his waist and kind of gently move him… //  
  
"Kunzaito-sama, what are you doing?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
// Shit. //  
  
"Zoisite," Kunzite began, still trying to move the little man away from his traitor body.  
  
"Well, I suppose I'll go get started on making you breakfast!" Zoisite said cheerfully, sliding off Kunzite and the bed and onto the floor. He smiled beatifically at Kunzite, showing every one of his perfect little teeth, before scampering out of the room.  
  
Kunzite sighed and relaxed his tense body against the mattress, relieved that Zoisite had had to leave the room at the awkward moment. Good thing Zoisite remembered that he had to…  
  
// …wait. //  
  
"You're making what??" Kunzite shouted after Zoisite.  
  
"Breakfast!" came the bubbly response. "Don't worry, you'll love it!"  
  
Kunzite's mouth dropped open in dismay before he sighed resignedly and slid back down under the covers.  
  
If he was going to be subjected to Zoisite's cooking, he'd be damn sure he at least snuck in another fifteen minutes of sleep without the eager little rat breathing down his neck.  
  
*******  
  
"Well?"  
  
Kunzite dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin before folding it and sliding it under the plate. "It was…unique," he said, before downing an entire glass of water.  
  
"You didn't finish."  
  
"Can't work on a completely full stomach. It makes me drowsy."  
  
"You didn't like it."  
  
Kunzite flinched slightly.   
  
// Here it comes, the agony, the crying, the wailing. The pouting. He's going to pout at me. I hate it when he pouts at me. //  
  
He felt apprehensive as he watched Zoisite's ever-present lower lip wobble slightly, as he warily watched those emerald eyes for the slightest hint of a tear.  
  
But Zoisite, ever unpredictable, suddenly banished any hint of sulkiness from his face and smiled warmly, shrugging. "It's okay," he said, clearing the plates. "It wasn't my best. Besides, you're probably right about working on a full stomach." He pushed his chair back from the table and stood, kissing Kunzite briefly as he passed before strolling easily out of the room. "Be ready in half an hour!" he called over his shoulder.  
  
Kunzite hadn't realized he was so tense until after Zoisite left the room and he felt himself sink back into the chair. He rubbed his forehead with his fingers, his eyes tightly shut.  
  
// This is going to be one of those days. //  
  
*******  
  
"Kunzaito-sama," Zoisite complained, "Why can't I come with you?"  
  
"Because," Kunzite said through gritted teeth, "You have training to get through. You have been slacking off in developing some of your attacks in favor of spending time with me, and it's showing."  
  
Zoisite immediately stuck out his lip. "But you told me that I…"  
  
"I know what I've told you," Kunzite said, narrowing his eyes. "And yes, you are extremely proficient given your limited knowledge and amount of magical training, but the fact remains that you currently rank at the bottom and you simply aren't that powerful yet."  
  
"But Kunzaito-sama, you said…"  
  
"I know what I said, Zoisite!" Kunzite snapped.   
  
Zoisite took a step back, astonished. His green eyes widened in obvious hurt.  
  
Kunzite felt a pang of emotion and dully reflected that there once was a time when he simply did not feel this way. There was once a time when he didn't have to worry about the effect his coldness carried, because there wasn't a pair of soulful emerald jewels constantly reflecting back his every word.   
  
// Damn you, Zoisite. You make it awfully difficult to hate you as much as I sometimes think I should. //  
  
"Zoisite," Kunzite said, bracingly. "You are very talented, and very brilliant, and beyond that you have enormous amounts of potential. I would hate to see you squander that potential because you're always with me instead of actually applying yourself."  
  
// And also because I seriously think I will crack if I can't get one damn hour alone, without you constantly pestering and doting on me. //  
  
Zoisite nodded sadly, biting his lip. He bowed his head and turned, walking slowly across the stone floor. Kunzite watched his small, retreating form.  
  
He hadn't made it very far before he turned around and peered up at Kunzite, blinking his lovely eyes, in that confoundedly beautiful way of his, and Kunzite felt horrified as his nerve weakened rapidly.  
  
// Oh please don't do this to me, Zoisite. Please don't make me want you. Not now. I want to be as far away from you as humanly possible. Trust me, you don't want to be near me, because I will honestly contemplate snapping your tiny little neck if you so much as open that damned mouth of yours. //  
  
"Zoisite…"  
  
// Shit. Shit. Oh shit. //  
  
"Come here."  
  
// Damn you. How do you keep doing this? //  
  
*******  
  
He spent the entire morning practically at the older man's elbow.  
  
Kunzite tried to pretend that he didn't mind, and in some ways he didn't. Zoisite could be positively cute when he was being so affectionate, and Kunzite had to admit that the way Zoisite continually endeared himself to him was absolutely adorable, but it was an ongoing internal struggle for the first of kings. Yes, the boy was beautiful, irresistibly so. Yes, he was bright and talented and all the things Kunzite told him he was.   
  
// But he could be so damned irritating! //  
  
"Zoisite, please," Kunzite said, feeling the last drops of patience slowly evaporating from his person. "Focus. I didn't take the morning off to spend going over your attacks to have you to sit around and do a half-assed job. If you think this impresses me, you're wrong."  
  
As soon as he saw the little man's reaction, he knew it had been a mistake.  
  
Zoisite had been surprisingly level and cheerful for most of the day, mostly thrilled that his mentor was taking time to review with him instead of sending him off to spar with some youma, but the little man was never one for accepting criticism, even when issued from lips he frequently came into passionate contact with.  
  
// Here it comes. Perfect. This is just what I needed, a hissy fit from the human time bomb. He'll probably blast a hole in something and then cry because he hurt his hand doing it. //  
  
Already the smaller king's cheeks were flaming, and before Kunzite was fully aware of what he was doing, Zoisite had conjured up a fireball, which he subsequently blasted into the floor, leaving a small but smoldering crater.  
  
Kunzite raised an eyebrow. "Well, now we know you can summon fire. Not that that's at all surprising," he said, but it took all his effort to remain calm and restrain from choking the daylights out of the subordinate and show-offish little rat. He folded his arms and nodded. "On that note, I think I'm going to leave and get some actual work done. You stay here and work on your aim. I doubt many of your enemies will be crawling about on the floor."  
  
Zoisite followed him like a lost puppy. "I'll go with you," he said, his turbulent mood swing already dissipating.   
  
"No, you won't," Kunzite said firmly.  
  
"Oh, Kunzaito-sama," Zoisite begged.  
  
"NO."  
  
// No! You hear me? NO. //  
  
"But why?"  
  
// Because I will murder you and put your head on a stake in my yard as a warning to all the other bratty little kings who do nothing but flip back and forth between seducing me and driving me insane. //  
  
"Because I have spent the entire morning working with you and that is more than enough. You need to practice. I need to take care of some things. And as neither of these items involves us sleeping together or performing other various sexual activities, I see no reason why we need to be even remotely in the same vicinity," Kunzite took a deep breath.  
  
Zoisite lowered his head slightly…and peered up from underneath his bangs, batting his long-lashed eyes.  
  
Kunzite inhaled sharply and took a step backward.   
  
"No, Zoisite. No. Not under any circumstances."  
  
"Oh, Kunzaito-sama," Zoisite purred, leaning forward and tracing his fingers across the minute exposed portion of Kunzite's chest. "Surely you don't mean that."  
  
"Zoisite…"  
  
// Damn it. //  
  
*******  
  
He sat on the edge of Kunzite's desk, swinging his legs happily. He seemed almost childlike to Kunzite, oddly innocent, although Kunzite definitely knew better than to believe that. Looks could be deceiving. Zoisite was just a flat-out lie.  
  
// And a lay. A pretty good lay, at that. //  
  
Kunzite felt the corner of his mouth quirking up into an atypical smile and immediately forced himself to frown. That was another thing that annoyed him; thinking about the little rat often made him grin, and it wasn't always because he was thinking about sex. Sometimes it was just the things Zoisite did that brought an odd smile to his face; the way he played with his own hair, the way he was so incurably vain but still horribly insecure, the way he giggled when Kunzite pulled him into his lap.  
  
// Stop that. Work before pleasure. //  
  
And Zoisite was…undeniably pleasurable. Kunzite reflected that it wasn't Zoisite's level of technique or bedroom savoir-faire that made him so desirable, it was…well, Kunzite wasn't quite sure what it was. Something about the way he looked at him, the way he spoke and reacted, it made Kunzite feel very…  
  
// Different. //  
  
But no, oh // damn it //, he was talking again!  
  
"I'm getting better," Zoisite was saying, playing absently with his own hair. "I'll be better. I'll be better than Jadeite, and Nephrite. Hell, I'll definitely be better than him."  
  
Kunzite nodded and bent over his papers.   
  
"I hate him. He's so…he's so useless," Zoisite spat, "I'll show everyone how useless he is. What a waste, Nephrite. Only I hope he doesn't…you don't think he's better than I am, do you?"  
  
"I don't know," Kunzite said through closed teeth.  
  
"I'm prettier," Zoisite said, laughing, and the laugh was like nails on a chalkboard. "I'm prettier, definitely. Is my hair too long?"  
  
Kunzite froze. He gripped the edge of the desk with one hand and watched in disturbed fascination as the knuckles drained of blood, turned white.  
  
"I hope not. I mean, I like it long, but I hope it's not too long. Do you think it's too long?"  
  
Kunzite didn't answer. He felt himself growing peculiarly angry, in a way he'd never quite felt. In fact, he'd never felt so unnerved by anyone as he did by the chatty little man sitting on his desk.  
  
"Do you like it this long? If not, I can cut it. I can, it's no trouble. I told you that earlier. Were you listening earlier? You seemed like you were still asleep. I hope you weren't just ignoring me," Zoisite said reproachfully.  
  
// That's it. //  
  
Kunzite slammed a handful of papers onto the desk, and Zoisite jumped, startled by the sudden noise. Kunzite growled and leaned into Zoisite's face, his cold gray eyes flashing furiously.  
  
"Zoisite," he snarled, clenching his papers so roughly that they crumpled in his fist. "If you say one more word, if you say ONE more word, I am going to tear out your throat and EAT it in front of you. Do you understand me? I am sick of you following me around, I am sick of you pestering me, and I am sick of hearing you talk. I want you to go for one hour, ONE HOUR, without saying a word. Not one word. And if you do, I will feed you to the fucking youma."  
  
He released his ruined papers from his death grip and stood up sharply, his mouth set in a straight line.   
  
"Now get out of my sight."  
  
For once, Zoisite seemed completely shell-shocked. His marble skin had drained of what little color it had, turning him ghostly white, and his face was completely blank. Even his eyes, normally so full of green fire, were utterly muted.   
  
Then, slowly, he slid off Kunzite's desk and stood before him. Kunzite found the sudden silence eerily disturbing and for one bizarre moment he almost wanted Zoisite to burst back into his crazy chatter.  
  
But Zoisite heeded his mentor's words and teleported from the room without saying anything, leaving only a small flurry of sakura petals in his wake.  
  
Kunzite slowly sat back in his chair and realized he was shaking slightly. That was odd. It was Zoisite who should have been shaking, who should have come unglued, not Kunzite.   
  
// Not me. //  
  
*******  
  
// Let's think about this logically. Here are my options. //  
  
Kunzite had long given up his attempts at working and was now leaning back in his chair, his feet propped on his desk, thinking.  
  
// I could apologize… //  
  
Kunzite felt suddenly alarmed that he had even thought that. What, apologize to that sadistic, bratty, selfish little rat? Zoisite would never let him alone again. An apology would probably cause the small king to become even more affectionate, if that was even possible.  
  
// His face, though. That look on his face. //  
  
Kunzite paused, thoughtful. True, Zoisite had looked pretty hurt, and as much as Kunzite hate to admit it, that…bothered him. A lot.   
  
// Pros and cons, Kunzite. Think of the pros and cons. //  
  
The silvered king stood and began to pace across the room, his boots echoing lightly on the stone floor.  
  
// Pro: Zoisite will stop pouting. //  
  
That was good, Kunzite had to admit. The constant pouting did have a way of wearing on Kunzite's sanity.  
  
// Con: Zoisite will become even more doting then he already is, which means I'll have to put up with him and his incessant babbling even longer. //  
  
Kunzite shuddered and brushed his hair out of his face. He rubbed his chin with his gloved hand.  
  
// Pro: …make-up sex. Hm.  
  
Con: He. Won't. Stop. Talking! //  
  
Kunzite groaned and sat on the edge of his desk, putting his face in his hands. Of all the people in the world, why did he have to be especially fond of the only man who could drive him up the wall?  
  
// Make-up sex. //  
  
He narrowed his eyes and glared at the ceiling for a brief moment before smiling ruefully. "Damn you, Zoisite," he muttered, chuckling softly.  
  
*******  
  
"Zoisite?"  
  
He had found the slender king resting on his bed in his personal chambers, and couldn't help but feel both amused and annoyed at the impertinence of the younger man to hole up in his superior officer's quarters.  
  
Zoisite turned around, his pale face turned pinkish from crying, and he wiped his eyes miserably. Kunzite suppressed an urge to laugh because he looked so adorably pathetic…but no. He had come here on a mission to apologize, and he wasn't about to take any chances with Zoisite's eruptive emotions.  
  
He eased himself onto the bed beside Zoisite and pulled him into his lap, and the boy obligingly curled up against his chest. His copper curls tickled Kunzite's nose, who let forth a low, rumbling chuckle.   
  
Kunzite took a deep breath. He had tried to mentally prepare himself to make an apology to his young student, but he knew it would be no easy task for him. Now he steeled himself and attempted to swallow his pride long enough to say just those two difficult words…  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Kunzite blinked and stared down in surprise at the little man, who was looking up at him with glittering eyes. Zoisite nodded. "I really am, Kunzaito-sama. I was being…awfully annoying, I guess."  
  
Kunzite's mouth dropped open in momentary shock before he got control of himself, closing it swiftly. He nodded brusquely. "Well, now, Zoisite. You've seen the error of your ways, and I accept your apology, so there's really no reason we need to ever bring this little mishap up again."  
  
// Really. //   
  
Zoisite smiled happily and flung his arms around his Kunzaito-sama's neck. "I knew you would understand!" he gushed happily.  
  
Kunzite agreed gruffly and patted Zoisite on the back. Zoisite pulled away slightly and beamed at Kunzite.  
  
Kunzite cleared his throat. "Well, seeing as you sort of owe me for what you did today…how about you start paying me back for some of that?" he said, grinning hungrily.  
  
Zoisite smiled mischievously, putting one finger shyly to his own lips and giggling. "Oh, anything you want, Kunzaito-sama. I am nothing but your humble and willing student," he said, not sounding the slightest bit humble about it.  
  
Kunzite tackled his beautiful lover and began covering him with kisses.  
  
// Oh, this is definitely one of those days. // 


End file.
